


Nothing for My Feelings

by Bofur1



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: (onesided) Friendship/Love, F/M, Hurt No Comfort, Unrequited Love, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 09:13:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Bofur1
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There was no one like her. </p><p>Gíli agreed. Dwalin watched from a distance as Frerin introduced his sister to his new friend in the park. In the few weeks’ time that he’d known Gíli this was the first moment Dwalin had seen him flustered. He almost forgot to give Dís his alluring smile. Almost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nothing for My Feelings

Dwalin can see now the scenario from which all the fairy tales have originated. Only one worthy fellow is able to marry the Princess. Apparently that fellow isn’t Dwalin. He stands among many others, between a widely grinning Balin and an even-wider grinning Thorin. They don’t know how his heart is breaking.

As he watches Dís speak her vows with her golden-haired groom, Dwalin remembers all these past years when he has kept his love for Thorin’s sister hidden. And now he’s witnessing a wedding that could have been his.

 

As the years went by Dwalin’s love for Dís never faded. Instead it only deepened and grew more passionate. Dwalin still remembers the day he’d finally figured it out. He was a hundred-and-thirteen years old, a young adult. Dwalin ran into Dís as she walked home from the forge.

Her dark hair was in lopsided braids that hung over her ears, and her face was flushed from the heat. Her blue eyes were bright with satisfaction in her labor, and Dwalin was almost certain they grew brighter when she saw him.

“Dwalin!” she exclaimed in delight.

Dís took the time to talk with him, even though he himself was sweaty and disheveled from the day. And afterward she gave him a special beam and had left. His eyes followed her, and in that moment Dwalin finally gave up telling himself that the pounding of his heart was simply brotherly love.

Dwalin had always noticed the attractive things about her—her well-shaped face, intelligent eyes, and lean but sturdy body had always been apparent to his sharp eyes. But now he saw just how precious her beauty was. There was no one like her.

Gíli agreed. Dwalin watched from a distance as Frerin introduced his sister to his new friend in the park. In the few weeks’ time that he’d known Gíli this was the first moment Dwalin had seen him flustered. He almost forgot to give Dís his alluring smile. Almost.

Dwalin knew that his deep-set longing would never come to be. Dís’s dry humor and Gíli’s easy charisma clicked, lock and key. Besides, Gíli was handsome. His dark, sparkling brown eyes worked well with his rare golden locks to win a girl’s heart.

As he leaned against a tree, away from the others, Dwalin’s chest tightened in jealousy, anger, and pain. He turned his back on them and stalked off unnoticed.

Walking through the park, Dwalin felt his anger dissipate, onto to be replaced by a cold knot of numbness. He stood no chance for Dís’s heart. He was scruffy and harsh-looking; Gíli was...charming. Everything about him screamed charming.

Dwalin decided that if he wasn’t charming, he _wouldn’t_ be.

A week later Dwalin would run into Dís again, and she would be surprised at the sight of his hands and neck.

“Dwalin...tattoos?”

“Yep,” Dwalin said gruffly. He folded his arms over his chest and was glad she couldn’t see the tattoo that had been done on the scarred joint of his shoulder. In sharp, bold runes it read: _bachelor_. That area was still throbbing from the work of the tattooist.

But the stabbing of the needles had done nothing for Dwalin’s feelings. His abandoned thoughts and hopes and wishes irritated him as they scratched at the door of their cage deep within his mind.

 

Balin, always the observant one, noticed something was wrong. When Dwalin returned from the forge one day cold and silent, Balin had looked up from where he sat in an armchair by the fireplace. Setting aside his reading Balin studied him with concern.

“Dwalin, are you alright?”

“Leave me alone, Balin,” Dwalin growled through gritted teeth.

Balin stood instead, and reached out to him. He hadn’t said anything, but his actions spoke the volumes of his worry. Dwalin loved his brother, but Balin was so empathetically softhearted that he simply couldn’t face him right now.

That point was expertly publicized when Dwalin exploded in Balin’s face, screaming that he didn’t have to share every little problem. Balin wasn’t his mommy or his psychotherapist, and he didn’t need him or his compassion.

Balin was dumbstruck, backing up against the hearth as Dwalin raved, infuriated all the more because Balin simply wouldn’t shout back at him. He wanted someone who would scream back in anger! Still, his want went unrequited, just like another certain one.

When he ran out of breath Dwalin watched his brother’s reaction. Balin’s face was ashen as he picked up his book with quivering hands and walked slowly to his room, closing the door with an almost inaudible click.

Dwalin sank down in the armchair, which was still filled with his brother’s warmth. He felt horrible.

Before Balin, it had been Gíli. He’d come to the forge dressed in his best clothing, and Dwalin had asked in a nearly haughty voice, why had he come to work in a suit?

Gíli hadn’t even noticed Dwalin’s tone, instead exclaiming, “Oh, I’m not here to work, I’m here to tell you the good news! I’m going to propose to Dís!”

Dwalin had frozen, his hammer inches away from the red-hot blade he was working. Gíli talked about how deeply he was in love with her, and how long he’d wanted to do it, and how he yearned for her love in return. Dwalin knew he had loved her longer, wanted to longer, and yearned for her longer. But he said none of that to Gíli. He hadn’t needed to; Gíli’s bleeding nose soon told all.

But pommeling Dís’s soon-to-be and his brother’s kindly heart had done nothing for Dwalin’s feelings. They had escaped their shadowed cage and had given him the energy for his rage, but now he had to go through all the work of stuffing them again. He’d get better at it with time.

 

As she turns to face the crowd with her new husband, Dís meets eyes with Dwalin. Dwalin looks steadily into her radiant face, and he knows she’s waiting for him. His lips turn upward a fraction, and Dís is satisfied.

But selling off his lovely Dwarrowdam to another man, knowing that she is gone forever, does nothing for Dwalin’s feelings.


End file.
